You may have heard Joel and I talk about this on What’s Trending today, if not, prepare yourselves for an eye-opening report on the unexpected consequences of our smartphone addiction.  The Daily Mail says Apple is developing a new iPhone alert that will sound if your device is too close to your face. The new feature is called Screen Distance. Apple says, ”Increasing the distance the device is viewed from can help children lower their risk of myopia and gives adult users the opportunity to reduce digital eye strain. Screen Distance in Screen Time uses the TrueDepth camera to encourage users to move their device farther away after holding it closer than 12 inches from their face for an extended period of time.”

In a shocking turn of events, the world is being plagued by a hilarious yet perplexing epidemic of nearsightedness due to our incessant phone usage. Join us as we uncover the bizarre and comical incidents that have taken place in this myopia-filled adventure!

Headline: “Social Distancing Takes on a Whole New Meaning!” In this news segment, we reveal how social interactions have become more challenging than ever. With everyone holding their phones at arm’s length, attempting to read messages and engage in conversations, we witness a hilarious dance of outstretched arms and squinting eyes. Forget about personal space—now it’s all about maintaining the perfect reading distance!

Headline: “Phone Enlargement Apps in High Demand!” As myopia strikes the world, people are desperately seeking solutions to read their texts and emails. Enter the era of phone enlargement apps! Witness the outrageous lengths people are going to in order to enlarge the text on their screens, including holding their phones up to their noses and squishing their faces against the glass. Beauty gurus everywhere are redefining the term “close-up”!

Headline: “Fashion Trends Gone Awry: The Spectacle of Spectacles!” Eyeglasses, once seen as a necessary accessory for the visually impaired, are now making a fashion statement like never before. Get ready for an eyewear revolution as people embrace oversized, ultra-thick lenses to accommodate their newfound nearsightedness. From supersized cat-eye frames to goggles that would make even scuba divers envious, the fashion industry has never seen such spectacle!

Headline: “Peculiar Situations in Public Spaces!” Navigating public spaces has become a spectacle of its own. Watch as people unintentionally bump into lampposts, trip over curbs, and attempt to read street signs with their noses practically touching the pavement. Witness the extraordinary sight of commuters sitting too close to strangers on public transport, believing they are far away, resulting in some awkward and hilarious encounters.

Headline: “Pets Strike Back: ‘Take Your Human to Work Day’ Declared!” Our furry friends are not immune to the nearsightedness craze. Dogs and cats are taking advantage of their owners’ poor vision, leading to the inaugural “Take Your Human to Work Day.” Witness the adorable chaos as our beloved pets drag their humans around, utilizing their nearsightedness for their own amusement. It’s a day of mischief, laughter, and, of course, viral pet videos!

Conclusion: As we bid farewell to this whirlwind of myopia-induced madness, let’s remember to take a step back, literally, from our screens. While nearsightedness may have its humorous side, it’s important to strike a balance between technology and the real world. Until then, let’s embrace the hilarity, cherish our spectacles, and keep our noses on the lookout for the next peculiar trend to captivate the world. Stay focused, but not too close!