The Military Needs Your Help to Find a Lost Fighter Jet
I’ve got a story that’s bound to make you shake your head, and maybe even question where your hard-earned money is going. Brace yourselves for a story of shenanigans of a missing F-35 fighter jet that’s playing hide-and-seek with the U.S. military.
The Pentagon, armed with a cool $80 million of your money, decided it was time to invest in what’s been hailed as the most advanced fighter jet on the planet, the F-35. But as it turns out, they might’ve wanted to make a pit stop at the nearest Apple Store and pick up an AirTag for just $12. You know, just in case.
Now, fast forward to a sunny Sunday on September 17, somewhere over South Carolina. An F-35 pilot, presumably feeling a bit adventurous, decides to eject from the aircraft. Now, this is where things take an unexpected turn. The pilot gracefully descends with their parachute, ready to regale their fellow servicemembers with tales of their daring escape. But there’s just one problem: the plane doesn’t get the memo.
Yes, you read that right, while the pilot decided to take a breather from flying, the F-35 had other ideas. It continued its mission to be the ultimate jet-powered maverick, soaring through the skies all by itself, without a care in the world. The real kicker? Nobody knows where it went! The military, with all its high-tech gadgetry, is scratching its collective head, trying to locate this vanishing act of a fighter jet.
And so, here we are, in the 21st century, where the U.S. military is turning to the likes of Ma and Pa Kettle, your friendly neighbors down the road, to help them find their missing superjet. Can’t you just imagine it? “Hey, Pa, did ya see that fancy flyin’ contraption land in our cornfield? Looks like the government lost another one!”
In a twist that would make even the most avid scavenger hunters blush, Joint Base Charleston has taken to social media to request the public’s help in locating the plane. You know, as if it’s a fluffy cat named Mittens that slipped out the back door. “Have you seen this F-35? Answers to the name ‘Jetty’ and has a penchant for breathtaking barrel rolls.”
Now, here’s a pro tip for anyone lucky enough to stumble upon this misplaced marvel: remember the age-old legal precedent set in Finders v. Keepers. If it lands in your backyard and it’s still in one piece, it’s practically a gift from Uncle Sam himself. And why not take it out for a spin? After all, you helped foot the bill for this airborne Houdini act.
In the end, this tale of the lost F-35 reminds us that even with all the cutting-edge technology in the world, sometimes you just need a good old-fashioned neighborhood watch to keep an eye on things. Who knows, maybe next time they’ll spring for the extra $12 and slap an Apple AirTag on their fighter jets. Until then, happy hunting, folks, and may the skies be ever in your favor!
Veterans Day 2022: 11 Great Discounts and Freebies
Applebee’s
Applebee’s is offering all veterans and active duty military members a free entree from one of the following seven options:
-Classic Bacon Cheeseburger
-Chicken Tenders Platter
-Fiesta Lime Chicken
-Oriental Chicken Salad
-6 oz. USDA Select Top Sirloin
-Double Crunch Shirmp
-Three-Cheese Chicken Penne
NEW YORK, NY – DECEMBER 01: An Applebees restaurant is seen on December 1, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew Burton/Getty Images)
Buffalo Wild Wings
Per Military.com, Buffalo Wild Wings has an excellent offer for both dine-in and takeout orders. Veterans and active-duty service members are eligible for a free order of 10 boneless wings and fries. You must show proof of service.
JACKSONVILLE, FL – FEBRUARY 01: Buffalo Wild Wings exterior on February 1, 2018 in Jacksonville, Florida. (Photo by Rick Diamond/Getty Images for Buffalo Wild Wings)
Denny’s
Denny’s is offering a free Grand Slam to all active, non-active and retired military personnel with a valid military ID or DD 214. The offer is available for dine-in only from 5 AM to noon at participating locations.
(Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)
Dunkin’
Dunkin’ is offering veterans and active military members a free donut on Veterans Day. No purchase is required.
CHICAGO – SEPTEMBER 07: A Dunkin’ Donuts hangs on a window. (Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images)
Hooters
Hooters is offering veterans and active military members with proof of service/ military ID a free entree from the following five options with the purchase of a beverage:
-10-Piece Boneless Wings
-Hooters Burger
-Grilled Chicken Sandwich
-Buffalo Chicken Sandwich
-Buffalo Chicken Salad
SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – JANUARY 12: A general view of Hooters restaurant on January 12, 2007 in Seoul, South Korea. (Photo by Chung Sung-Jun/Getty Images)
Little Caesars
Per Military.com, Little Caesars is offering veterans and active military members a free lunch combo at participating locations. The offer is only available between 11 AM and 2 PM.
DETROIT, MI – DECEMBER 26: The Little Caesars Pizza mascots look on and give a thumbs up. (Photo by Mark A. Cunningham/Getty Images)
National Parks Service
Per the VA, “On Veterans Day 2022, the National Park Service will unveil a lifetime pass providing free entrance to national parks for Veterans and their families. The Interagency Military Lifetime Pass waives entrance fees for the National Park Service and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, and standard amenity recreation fees for the Bureau of Land Management, Bureau of Reclamation, U.S. Forest Service and U.S. Army Corps of Engineers sites for current military service members and their dependents, Veterans and Gold Star Families.”
DENALI NATIONAL PARK, AK – SEPTEMBER 1: A view of Denali, formerly known as Mt. McKinley, on September 1, 2015 in Denali National Park, Alaska. (Photo by Lance King/Getty Images)
