Hey there, fellow foodies and fine dining enthusiasts! You may have heard Joel and I talking about this today.  Buckle up and get ready for a culinary adventure like no other because restaurants are taking their menu prices to the next level with the introduction of the legendary “kitchen fee” and the mystical “living wage surcharge.” Yes, my friends, going out to eat is about to become a luxurious experience in more ways than one!

Picture this: You enter a swanky restaurant, feeling fancy and ready to indulge your taste buds. You peruse the menu, ogling at the delectable dishes and calculating which one won’t break the bank. But wait, what’s that hidden gem lurking in the corner? It’s not just the price of the dish, oh no, it’s the glorious kitchen fee! Finally, the opportunity to pay extra just to have the privilege of having your meal prepared in an actual kitchen. Who needs that ancient concept of complimentary kitchens anyway?

As if the kitchen fee wasn’t enough to tickle your fancy, behold the living wage surcharge! Why settle for the simplicity of regular tipping when you can contribute directly to the financial well-being of the underpaid kitchen staff? That’s right, by simply dining out, you can proudly proclaim, “I’m supporting the living wages of kitchen ninjas while simultaneously filling my belly!”

Oh, and let’s not forget the immersive dining experience these fees bring. Gone are the days of hastily gobbling down your food; now, you can savor each bite as if you were indulging in an expensive spa treatment. Imagine the satisfaction of knowing that your extra contribution is being put to good use, right there in the kitchen, where the magic happens!

But hold on a second, before we get too carried away, let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room. With these new luxurious fees, dining out may soon become an exclusive experience for the elite. The days of spontaneous mid-week dinner outings might be numbered, replaced by carefully planned, meticulously budgeted culinary escapades. You’ll need to decide between saving up for that kitchen fee or paying your rent. Tough choices, my friends!

So, as we embark on this new era of culinary adventures, let’s remember to embrace the absurdity, savor the humor, and maybe even question the logic of it all. Because who knows, maybe one day we’ll look back and chuckle at the time when going out to eat became a luxury worthy of a king’s ransom. Bon appétit, my friends, and don’t forget your wallet—these fees won’t pay themselves!