The Bird Test: A Surprisingly Simple Gauge for Relationship Longevity
In the ever-evolving landscape of relationship advice, a new viral trend on TikTok has captured the attention of millions: the “bird test.” While seemingly light-hearted and amusing, the bird test is gaining popularity as a serious indicator of relationship health and longevity. Originating from the Gottman Institute’s research, this test has become a social media sensation, prompting individuals to assess the strength of their connections based on how they respond to seemingly trivial moments.
The bird test, as explained by TikTok user @alyssacardib, involves one partner pointing out something seemingly insignificant to the other, such as a bird, and observing their response. The underlying principle, as per the Gottman Institute, is to evaluate how often a partner “turns toward” or “turns away” when the other makes a bid for connection. It’s not merely about the bird but about the genuine interest and engagement one displays in response to their partner’s bid.
Former Bachelorette Michelle Young and other TikTok users have eagerly put their relationships to the test, sharing their experiences and outcomes. The hashtag #birdtest has amassed over 6 million views on the platform, indicating a widespread interest in this relationship litmus test.
In essence, the bird test is a tangible representation of the Gottman Institute’s concept of turning toward or away. Successful relationships, according to the Institute’s research, involve partners consistently turning toward each other, responding positively to bids for connection. This principle was tested by John Gottman, Ph.D., in research on newlyweds, revealing that couples who stayed married turned toward each other 86% of the time, while those who divorced averaged only 33%.
As we navigate the challenges of modern relationships, especially in the wake of the pandemic, the bird test serves as a simple yet effective reminder to remain engaged with our partners. Gottman-certified therapist Sinead Smyth emphasizes the importance of “turning toward” as the key to maintaining a healthy relationship. In a world that often encourages disengagement, actively responding to your partner’s bids for connection becomes a crucial course correction.
According to Today.com to successfully “turn toward,” the Gottman Institute recommends paying attention, understanding the text and subtext of bids, and having open discussions about how each partner makes and responds to bids. By incorporating these practices into daily life, couples can foster stronger connections and navigate the intricacies of relationships with genuine care and interest, even if it starts with a simple question about a bird.
All the New Hallmark Christmas Movies for this Year
Christmas Island
When a snowstorm diverts Kate’s first private flight en route to Switzerland to Christmas Island, she must team up with an air traffic controller to secure her dream job as the family’s pilot. Starring Rachel Skarsten and Andrew Walker.
Navigating Christmas
Recently divorced Melanie (Chelsea Hobbs) and her son Jason visit a remote island for Christmas, only to find themselves running a real working lighthouse where she connects with the curt but cute owner (Stephen Huszar).
Holiday Hotline
After leaving London, Abby (Emily Tennant) connects with an anonymous caller while working at a cooking hotline. The caller is single dad “John” (Niall Matter) who Abby unknowingly has become smitten with in real life.
Catch Me If You Claus
Avery Quinn’s (Italia Ricci) shot at anchoring news clashes with a Santa-suited intruder, Chris (Luke MacFarlane), who insists he’s Santa’s son on a first Christmas mission. They unravel a career-making story together.
Letters To Santa
When young siblings receive a magic pen from Santa that appears to be granting wishes, they request a Christmas gift they want more than anything – for their separated parents to reunite. Starring Katie Leclerc and Rafael de la Fuente.
Holiday Road
When bad weather leaves each of them stranded at the airport for the holidays, a tech entrepreneur (Warren Christie), a travel writer (Sara Canning), a devoted mother (Enid-Raye Adams) and her son (Kiefer O’Reilly), a stubborn senior (Trevor Lerner), an enigmatic woman with a hint of mystery (Brittany Willacy), a couple traveling from Hong Kong (Sharon Crandall, Ryan Mah) and a social media influencer (Princess Davis) all agree to rent a shared van to embark on a road trip to Denver. When their unexpected journey brings them into uncharted territory, they navigate a series of misadventures together and form a deeper bond that just might change the trajectories of each of their lives. Inspired by true events.
Our Christmas Mural
Olivia (Alex Paxton-Beesley), a single mom, returns home for Christmas. Her mom secretly enters her into a mural contest; she wins but partners with teacher Will (Dan Jeannotte) to create a Christmas masterpiece.
A Biltmore Christmas
Lucy Hardgrove (Bethany Joy Lenz) is a screenwriter who lands the job of a lifetime when she’s hired to pen the script for a remake of the beloved holiday movie, His Merry Wife! First filmed in 1947 at beautiful, historic Biltmore House, it has long been considered a Christmas classic. When the head of the studio isn’t satisfied with the ending Lucy wrote because it deviates from the original’s feel-good conclusion, he sends Lucy to Biltmore Estate for research and inspiration. While there, she unwittingly discovers the ability to travel to the 1947 set of His Merry Wife! through the help of an hourglass. After shaking off the initial shock of this turn of events, Lucy embraces this as her chance to uncover the truth about the movie’s original ending. While on set, she and Jack Huston (Kristoffer Polaha), one of the film’s stars, spend time together and become close. But her sudden appearance has set off a chain of events that put the production in jeopardy. Before she can return to the present, Lucy must make things right or threaten to alter the future forever.
My Norwegian Holiday
JJ (Rhiannon Fish), grieving the loss of her grandmother and seeking dissertation inspiration, stumbles upon an unexpected holiday destiny. Meeting Henrik (David Elsendoorn), a Norwegian from Bergen, their connection deepens when he discovers she has a troll figurine from his hometown. To explore the troll’s history and her grandmother’s ties, JJ agrees to join Henrik on a journey to Norway. In Bergen, they’re drawn into Henrik’s family Christmas and wedding traditions, with his sister’s wedding day the day before Christmas Eve. JJ embarks on a holiday adventure, uncovering the troll’s origins and finding her own path to healing, love and family.
A Not So Royal Christmas
Tabloid journalist Charlotte (Brooke D’Orsay) attempts to land an interview with a reclusive Count. In response, the royal family has a groundskeeper (Will Kemp) pose as the Count since the real one fled years ago.
Christmas with a Kiss
A woman (Mishael Morgan) returns home to help with her family’s Christmas Carnival and romance ignites. A photo journalist (Ronnie Rowe Jr.) curates a surprise reunion. Also stars Jaime M. Callica.
Magic in Mistletoe
Harrington (Paul Campbell) is the author of a popular book but commercial success has left him a bitter recluse. As he returns to his hometown for an annual Christmas festival celebrating his books, he’s joined by April (Lyndie Greenwood), a publicist for the major publishing house he works with. April is there for damage control after Harrington’s recent comments on social media has ruffled some feathers. But as she gets to know him better, hope springs that April can unlock Harrington’s guarded heart and help him discover the spirit of the holiday.
Christmas on Cherry Lane
A young couple preparing to welcome their first child (John Brotherton, Erin Cahill); an empty-nester (Catherine Bell) and her fiance (James Denton) ready to start a new chapter; and a couple (Jonathan Bennett, Vincent Rodriguez III) who unexpectedly have the chance to expand their family on Christmas Eve celebrate the holiday as they navigate these turning point in their lives.
Round and Round
Rachel’s (Vic Michaelis) stuck in a time loop, reliving the night of her parents’ Hanukkah party. Can Zach (Bryan Greenberg), the “nice boy” Grandma’s trying to set her up with, help her make it to tomorrow? Also starring Rick Hoffman.
The Secret Gift of Christmas
Bonnie (Meghan Ory) is a personal shopper who helps her widowed client Patrick (Christopher Russell) reconnect with his young daughter. Though their ideas of shopping couldn’t be more different, she’s determined to get them everything on their wish list.
Sealed with a List
Festive Carley (Katie Findlay) sets out to conquer her list of abandoned resolutions from last year. Aided by co-worker Wyatt (Evan Roderick), she finds love and the confidence to chase her dreams.
Friends & Family Christmas
Two women agree to pretend they’re dating to appease their respective parents during the holidays. However, as they spend more time together, they start to build a connection that’s deeper than either of them could have hoped for. Starring Humberly Gonzalez and Ali Liebert.
