Being in a relationship isn’t always easy. First, there’s that honeymoon phase where the other person can do no wrong. You might even think some of their quirks, like how they make a funny sound when they sip coffee, are cute at first. Then, a few months later, you might think those same quirks are super annoying. But, if there’s love, then, in a perfect world, that relationship should always be able to work. Sometimes, though, it doesn’t work. Sometimes couples decide to part ways. So, what are the most common reasons people end a relationship?
Before we reasons why people end their relationship, let’s get into some stats. According to Forbes.com, both marriage and divorce rates have gone down over time. Forbes.com states that in 2000, roughly 944,000 divorces and annulments happened, and the crude divorce rate was 4.00 per population during that year. But, by 2021, that crude divorce rate had fallen to 2.5 per 1,000 population. Also, in 2021, only 689,308 people divorced, so much less than the 944,000 in 2000. So, the fact that the divorce rate is going down is a good thing. But, it’s partly because people aren’t getting married as much. The marriage rate, according to the Forbes.com article, declined from 8.2 per population in 2000 to 6.00 per population in 2021. So, when do couples divorce? They say “the average length of a marriage prior to divorce is eight years.”
What’s interesting is that even from just year-to-year, marriage rates seem to be going down. According to Worldpopulationreview.com, “between 2018 and 2019, the number of marriages dropped significantly, by about 5.5 percent.” If you’re curious, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, “Alaska and Utah had among the highest marriage rates, at 23.5 and 22.3, respectively.” Also, “Puerto Rico had among the lowest marriage and divorce rates” and “Massachusetts had a marriage rate of 11.8, also among the nation’s lowest.” Now, let’s get into the most common reasons people end a relationship, not just marriages.
They can't be friends, in addition to lovers
According to Heysigmund.com, “Studies have shown that the love and passion that comes with the initial boost of marriage wears off after two years, which is why the best relationships are the ones that have genuine friendship at their core.” It makes sense. You can’t just be physically attracted to your partner. You have to actually like them as a person, too, and enjoy their company. You have to be friends, too.
Getty Images / feedough
There's a lack of respect
This is a big one. Bestlifeonline.com notes that, “…if one partner has a blatant disrespect for the other’s life choices, neither partner will ever feel comfortable talking about their day, let alone their feelings or beliefs.” That’s really true. You have to respect the other person and let them know that you care and respect them, or else the relationship could hit some really rocky roads.
Getty Images / DeanDrobot
Lack of trust
Trust is a huge thing in a relationship. The more serious a relationship gets, the more trust is important, too. That’s why it can make or break a relationship in those later years. “One of the foundational feelings necessary in a good relationship is a feeling of security,” Verywellmind.com says. “If you lack emotional support or find your partner unreliable, you might lose trust.”
Getty Images / Harbucks
You rushed into a relationship
We’ve all been there. Everything was so great at first, that you went from a first date to, “Here’s my mom and dad.” Maybe you rushed into a relationship as a rebound, or maybe it was filling a void in your life. Either way, going into a relationship too fast is often a reason people break it off.
A major life event pushed the relationship to the edge
I’ve seen this happen before. Sometimes, it’s life that causes friction in the relationship, not the relationship at all. If someone is going through a really hard time or dealing with a shocking loss, sometimes, they can decide to just step away from everything, including their relationship. It can be anything from a big move to a death. “A big and unexpected life event, like the death of a parent or a sudden job layoff, can shake a relationship to its core,” states Bestlifeonline.com. They add, “And, oftentimes, these life-changing moments will result in other major changes that many relationships struggle to survive.”
Getty Images / tampatra
Communication problems
You totally have to be able to communicate with your partner. They can’t read your mind. The people who don’t communicate well are often those who find themselves having trouble in relationships. “Numerous studies have identified communication (or a lack thereof) as one of the top reasons for couples seek therapy, as well as one of the top reasons for break-ups and divorces,” Delraybeachpsychiatrist.com says.
Your partner isn't grateful
Even if you’re been in a relationship for a long time, a simple “thank you so much” means a lot. Always make sure to let your partner know how much you appreciate the little, and big, things. It goes a long way. Not being grateful could even lead to a breakup.
Getty Images / chinaview
Financial woes
Arguing about money is really common in relationships. It’s also a big reason why some couples can’t make it work. Maybe your partner loves to spend money on luxuries, and you’re a penny-pinching type. That’s an issue. “Differences over money is one of the top reasons for marital dissolution. But a couple also doesn’t need to be married to have money challenges,” Delraybeachpsychiatrist.com says.
Getty Images / alfexe
