Academy Awards: Best Part of the Night

The long-awaited Academy Awards are finally happening this weekend. Oscar night is when many people tune in simply for the red carpet fashion on display. That’s not my favorite part, but I understand why other people enjoy it. For me, there’s no better way to spend 8+ hours the night before I have to get up at 3 am the next day.

Who could forget Charlize Theron in 2004, dazzling in her Gucci gown with a floor-shimmering silhouette and a plunging backless cut and draping train? I can and do, but I’m sure it was beautiful. I'm not sure what I would wear, perhaps a simple Wonder Woman-style tube top would be elegant because, as they say, less is more. I think that would be remembered.

We all love to see the uncensored, unexpected, and unscripted. As in 2009, you may recall Beyonce’s face when Kanye stole Taylor’s moment at the MTV Video Music Awards. I do, however, I have no clue what they were wearing.

And then there are the trophy presentations and speeches. There’s always one winner who is surprised how heavy it is and a few who “didn’t expect this” and “didn’t prepare anything because I didn’t think I would win.”

If I were to win any of these awards, I think my acceptance speech would be very similar to Joe Pesci's in 1991 when he accepted the award for “Best Actor in a Supporting Role” and simply said, “It’s my privilege, thank you.”

Surprisingly, that’s the second-shortest acceptance speech in Academy Award history. The shortest came from Patty Duke in 1963. She said only two words when she accepted the “Best Supporting Actress award for her role in “The Miracle Worker.” She said, “Thank you.”

Imagine if all the speeches were just a sentence or two. The show would be over by 9 and free of political rants.

Maybe I’d just say “Thanks” so I would have the shortest ever. I’ll consider that when the opportunity most assuredly arises.

In all seriousness, one of the best things about this year's Academy Awards is Conan O'Brien.

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