Valentine’s Day. Ugh. A day that many of us single folk dread. Look, I have to be honest, I’ve been single for the last 10 years. I’ve dated plenty of guys in the last 10 years, but none of them ever stuck around long enough for something to really ever blossom. Was it me? Was it them? I don’t know. All I know is that the last 10 years have been very, um, interesting to say the least, but that’s a different story for a different time.
It’s January 2010 and I’m on the phone with “him” (I would rather not use his name) and it’s a very serious conversation. We were about to break up after being together for two and a half years. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was mentally and emotionally drained. We fought constantly over stupid stuff. I thought he was cheating, but he swore he wouldn’t do that to me. I also think I just fell out of love with him. During the breakup, he understood my reasons, I also told him I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get married or have kids. So even if we wanted to work things out, was it even worth it? So we ended it. It was hurtful and I cried a lot, but I knew it was for the best and that in time I would be fine. Right?
“Him” and I still stayed in contact for a while after we broke up. We were partners in a friend’s wedding that same year we broke up! How could we not talk? We were better off as friends than lovers. So we stayed friends and talked every now and then, we even hung out a few times. For the record, nothing happened.
One night we were hanging out and he gave me a card; it was around Valentine’s Day. I told him I would read it when I was home alone. I NEVER read the card. I shoved it in a drawer. Now it’s the day of our friend’s wedding. I still never read the card and he never asked me about it. We had a blast at the wedding.
2018, eight years later. I haven’t spoken to “him” in a very long time. He’s married now with a child. I was cleaning my room one day and I came across the card. STILL UNOPENED AND STILL IN THE SAME DRAWER I LEFT IT EIGHT YEARS AGO!!!! I’ve moved on, and it doesn’t matter.
So I thought, screw it. I ripped open the envelope, and read the card. Bad decision. He poured his heart out to me in this card. He told me how much he loved me, he would never stop loving me, and really wanted to make “us” work. He wanted to work things out and rebuild our relationship. I could not believe what I was reading. I never realized how much he tried to fight for us to make the relationship work. I was selfish. I have to be honest…I was messed up for a while after reading that card. Did I make a mistake by ending things with “him”? Could our relationship really be repaired? No. No to all of it. I couldn’t go back down that road again. Your ex is your ex for a reason and it should stay that way!
It’s 2020. Ten years later. “Him” and his wife just had another baby. He’s happy, I’m happy for him, and I’m happy just being ME and living my life. I don’t need a relationship to be happy or feel like a “whole person.” I have a good job, great friends and family, and good health. What else do I need? You need to love yourself 100% before you can love someone else. That’s the bottom line!
This year, I am attending a wedding on Valentine’s Day, and the woman that’s getting married is my friend and partner in crime. Ten years ago we would go out and say how much we hated men, get drunk and laugh about it. Ten years later she’s marrying the love of her life and she couldn’t be happier. My how things have changed!
Life’s good and it feels great to finally be able to say that after all these years! So if you’re single don’t worry about it! Who cares? Grab your best pals and have a night out! You won’t regret it! Err, unless you drink too much and have a serious hangover the next day……
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