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With Mike McGinn’s wedding quickly approaching, we were all asked to share some marriage advice. With my wife and I having gone on our first date with each other at age 9, and over 40 years later are unbelievably happily married, here are my top 10 marriage tips:

  1. Always, always be honest…especially when you’re lying
  2. Don’t just let yourself go. You don’t have to look exactly like you did the day you were married, but you owe it to your spouse to at least resemble yourself in some way.
  3. Have the ability to “agree to disagree.” You know you’re right, no need to brag about it.
  4. Never begin a sentence with the word “you.” start with “I” and share your feelings instead of your thoughts. For example, instead of “you are completely wrong,” try “I feel you are completely wrong.”
  5. Plan date nights, making sure the date is with your spouse.
  6. Try to regularly use 5 of the following 6 statements often: “I love you,” “I’m here for you,” “I understand,” “I’m sorry,” “Thank you,” “If you snore again I’m going to staple your mouth shut.”
  7. Never leave the toilet seat up or down.
  8. Finish what you start

Joel is a vegetarian who enjoys pork and chicken; he also loves to chase ping pong balls on a windy cruise ship